Archive for March, 2013

My Story…

Friday, March 15th, 2013

Preparing to drive myself & all my belongings across the country.

In 2011 I left my developing, challenging, & financially sound career and threw away every acceptance letter from each Law School that I’d approached.  I left the only home I’d ever known, a serious relationship, friends, a loving family and my beloved dogs…  Why?  I wanted to become a successful MMA fighter.  I gave up my rewarding work at an environmental non-profit.  I set aside a potential modeling career.  I knew I was much less likely to achieve “traditional” success fighting than I would as an attorney but I had to be me.  I wanted to win belts, titles and accolades in what many consider to be the most brutal sport in the world.

So now here I am in Las Vegas, the MMA capital, nearly broke, just scraping by.  Am I successful by any conventional measure?  Absolutely not.  I lost my first two fights after moving to Vegas & I live hand to mouth.  So was following my dream a good idea?  You tell me.  I wake with a smile on my face much more often now compared to before I left home.  I live outside of my comfort zone and therefore have never been more aware of the fact that I am alive.  I have emails and messages from fans who follow my journey; not because of my success, but because of my will to try.  When I take in all of these things the answer I come to is yes, absolutely yes.  Just a few years into the dream and I‘m still on fire.

It’s hard not following a life track most of us are taught is acceptable; going against the grain of an easier, safer and more secure lifestyle.  The training is exhausting, both mentally and physically.  The anxiety of not having any money is debilitating at times & seeing the looks of skepticism upon telling people my profession can get old.  I watch people with more conventional success buy clothes, nice cars, go out to eat at restaurants and have drinks any time they wish.  At times I wonder why I am doing this when I know I am capable of achieving that same type of monetary success and of living that same carefree lifestyle.  Just what is it that drives me to live the way I do and is it logical and correct?  I don’t always feel I know that answer, yet I’m forging forward regardless.  If I’ve learned one thing through all of this it is that you don’t always have to know the answer in order to move forward.

I’ve had many idols in my life.  They are all successful, at the top of their game & I’ve seen their smiles on TV, in magazines, newspapers and on the internet.  I now know what frustration, pain and sacrifice most (all) of them have endured to get there.  I will continue to go forward, not only for myself but also for those who have had doubts, fears, setbacks, & for those that lost the dream.  Maybe my story will reignite some of those dreams, continue to fuel the fire of those in pursuit or possibly set in motion those waiting on a sign to follow their heart.

Many ask what do you want your life to speak of to others; what is it you stand for?  I would love if my life spoke of the following:  Follow your dreams; even if it takes you down a road less travelled, even if most tell you it’s the wrong choice, even if you cannot find any logical reasoning for it beyond it is what you want to do.  Stop sleepwalking and take chances…  Live your life regardless.  It’s the only one you’ve got.